So you are a relatively minor company of whom we are inexplicably fond. You put out a press release once a week and nobody really gives a shit except for us. We work closely with you to make news lemonade out of the shittiest lemons you lob our way, because, y’know, we understand you’re important to some of our readers and we want to make that effort for you.
Then something legitimately newsworthy happens on which you’d actually be qualified to give a meaningful response. In fact, we actually need you for this story. You don’t answer nor pick up your phone, and are nowhere to be found until you give a comment to our overseas rival TWO WEEKS LATER.
Not. Okay.
could you look a little more like this
Sooo, if you are giving game demos under embargo before E3, your execs are giving interviews under embargo before E3 because they are not actually going to be there, you are livestreaming your press conferences, and we have seen under NDA everything you are going to announce next week…
….We need to drag our asses all the way to Los Angeles for what, now?
Oh yeah, to avail ourselves of the open bars you paid for. Thank you!
Why, why, why do you make us receive a separate badge to go to your press conference? Our E3 badge says ‘Media.’ Isn’t that good enough?
If it’s not MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP TREATING EVERY SINGLE FUCKING KID WITH A BLOG AS IF THEY ARE MEDIA
WE CAME TO E3 TO SEE PLATFORM HOLDERS AND MAJOR CONSOLE ANNOUNCEMENTS. NO, WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR BROWSER BASED FREE-TO-PLAY MMO ABOUT ROLLERSKATING. PLZ FACE REALITY.
Friday, June 11 is not the time to seek E3 appointments from us. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
Do not invite us to your event, make us play your game, invite us to download and process all of your assets and prepare a preview if you are going to suddenly give the exclusive to a useless two-bit mainstream print publication, thereby rendering hours of our work useless.
That’d be nice.
enough with the tiny fucking food. we hate events where people circulate with plates that are always almost always empty, and where the waiter seems to be offering the tray to everyone near us, but never TO us.
seriously, is a full-size hamburger or a couple of pizzas any more expensive than like, some tuna on skewers?
also how are we supposed to ‘network’ while holding a dirty skewer and waiting for the staff member to circulate back around and collect it?
Don’t ask us to “post your release.” We will decide whether or not we want to cover your announcement, but most of us aren’t fucking wire services. You could at least pretend you realize that.
And for the love of god, don’t call us to find out why your “release wasn’t posted.” It’s because it was boring, ace.
do not pester us for a prebrief on your stupid social media new hire under unspecified embargo date and then when we relent and send you the email questions you asked for, immediately release your announcement without answering them. contrary to your delusional fantasy, this will not make us do two news stories about your client; actually, it will make us do none.
right way to get us to go to your preview event: plan a low key open bar evening downtown where we can play your games.
wrong way to get us to go to your preview event: force us to choose an appointment slot downtown in the middle of our workday.
when we have taken an interest in an especially lame announcement for some peculiar, subtle reason, even though you decided to place it under an embargo for no real reason, and when we are corresponding with you for the prebrief, do not move the embargo to july freaking fourth.
we ain’t working then, ace.
when you prebrief us under embargo, give us a date and then move it the day before, you’ve fucked up our editorial schedule. why are you prebriefing if you’re not even sure when you’re going to be announcing?
if you ask us to observe an embargo, we will, no matter what you’re announcing. but needlessly slapping NDAs on your press releases will not fool us into thinking your announcement is more newsworthy than it is.
more than a week out is too long to contact journalists for announcements under embargo. in a week you will be at the bottom of our inboxes and we’ll forget. if it’s something so important as to warrant a prebrief, at least act like there’s a sense of urgency.